Threats and intimidation
Fear used as a way to get compliance.
What it looks like
Threats about leaving, custody, money, immigration status, exposure of private things, self-harm, or physical harm. Also implied threats: tone, gestures, damage to objects.
Things people actually hear
- "If you leave, you'll never see the kids."
- "Try me and see what happens."
- "I'll send those photos to everyone you know."
Why it works
Threats are the clearest form of coercive control, and the one where an app is least useful and safety planning is most useful.
They don't need to be physical to be serious. Threats about children, money, immigration status or reputation are used precisely because they work.
Escalation risk is highest around leaving. That is not a reason to stay — it's a reason to plan, ideally with a specialist advocate who does this daily.
If you are in immediate danger, contact emergency services. Please don't use this app instead of that.
One way to respond
There is no script for a threat. If you feel unsafe, prioritise safety over communication — see the Get help page.
Only use a script like this if it's safe to. If pushing back has consequences for you, safety comes first — see Get help.
Educational content only. Not a diagnosis, and not legal, medical or therapeutic advice.